In my new book, The Healing Power of Girlfriends: How to Create Your Best Life Through Female Connection, just released on March 8th, I share many tools and suggestions for how to navigate the channels of female friendship and glean the most benefits for a happier, healthier and longer life.   The book shares personal stories from my own decades of treasured relationships with my girlfriends, as well as stories from clients, my research questionnaire, and relevant data from studies at our most elite institutions.  One of the topics addressed is how to heal when life deals us hardships and challenges.  It is within our female friendships that we have the opportunity to help our girlfriends find their way back from wounds, scars, and hurts that are part of our human experience.  Here are my 3 “R’s” of Healing:

*REPAIR

Verbalize and validate with a nonjudgmental ear.  Let her know she is not alone. Offer reassurance and provide her the opportunity to feel safe so that she may vent, cry, grieve, or express anger or frustration.

*RESTORATION

This step is about rebuilding and moving forward toward empowerment and strength again.  If your friend is feeling fragile, exhausted and tapped out, offer your time and resources to assist her with getting back on track.  This may involve being her “taxi” service to appointments, or enlisting the help of her other family or friends.  Sometimes just asking her how you can be the most help to her is beneficial, so she can be active in this recovery planning as well, if she is ready.

*RECOVERY

The last step is about your girlfriend actually returning to her normal state of functioning.  In this stage, autonomy and independence begin to show up again.  As emotional, mental, and physical healing occurs, female friends play a vital role.  During this period, check in with her daily or several times a week, offer her time to talk, vent, or share via phone or face-to-face.  Watch for signs of delayed stress and fatigue that may not have presented before.  Continue to show support, encouragement, compassion, and be a mentor as she moves through recovery in this healing process.

The 3 “R’s” equip us with the tools to help our female friends heal and leave the brokenness behind.  The gifts you bring to the friendship table may be just the exact gifts your girlfriend needs to begin on her journey towards healing.  Don’t ever underestimate the power you have to be someone’s Angel and their lifeline back from the stormy seas.   When you see a girlfriend in pain and in need of healing, don’t hold back and wait for the right moment to jump in.  Offer her your hand, your ear, and most importantly, your heart.

**For more ideas on how to benefit from female connections, and celebrate the gift of girlfriends to live our healthiest, happiest and longest life, go to Amazon.com and purchase THE HEALING POWER OF GIRLFRIENDS in Kindle or paperback,   https://amzn.to/2XN2g0A     Or at Barnes & Noble.

Need some time by the ocean to relax after a busy summer? Want to unplug for a couple of days and enjoy some time with your gal-pals? Does walking on the beach, enjoying a massage, and connecting with your friends or making some new friends sound fun?

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then don’t miss this incredible opportunity to join us in Galveston for a weekend retreat at the San Luis Resort & Spa as we learn about the importance of girlfriends and celebrate sisterhood October 23-25, 2015! “The Healing Power of Girlfriends” seminar will be presented by Deborah Olson, who specializes in women’s emotional health and is a licensed professional counselor, author, and public speaker.

We have always known that girlfriends feed our soul, but now we know the benefits of spending time with our gal-pals goes much deeper than that! In fact, research has now shown our mental, physical, and emotional health benefit in significant ways from staying in connection with our friends.
Learn more about these benefits, how to understand the dynamics of friendship within a new framework, challenges of different expectations, outcomes, friendship levels, and danger zones.

Don’t miss this unique opportunity to learn about the healing power of girlfriends, acquire a new perspective on the dynamics of relationships, and celebrate the blessings of friendship!
We have been created by God to be in connection with others so let’s come together for an unforgettable weekend of FUN, FRIENDS, and FABULOUS FELLOWSHIP as we gather by the ocean to learn about and celebrate “sisterhood” together!

Sign up today by calling Deborah at #281-770-8923 or #713-968-9892
or emailing her at kwcounseling@earthlink.net
or dolson@galleriacounseling.com

All the details for this event may be found at Deborah’s website at:
galleriacounseling.com

If you have any questions, please call or email Deborah today!

**Deadlines for early bird discounts for the seminar are October 1st.
**Deadlines for hotel room block discounts are September 25.

**Discounts given if you sign up and pay with a friend!

I recently celebrated a significant birthday, you know, one of those “special” birthdays that end in zero!  There is something sort of jolting about those birthdays.  It serves to sort of wake us up and give us a reality check.   Actually, that is probably a good thing as we are prompted by the infamous “0” on the cake to start taking an inventory of our lives and ponder our current status.

We are all familiar with the old “mid-life crisis” concept and it brings forth all kinds of stereotypical images in our minds from bright red sports cars to people drastically changing their physical appearances, or in some cases connecting with their impulsive side.  But, what is really behind the scenes in these rather abrupt and possibly radical life changes?   Could it be the realization that one of the numbers on the cake is a “0” and time is fleeting fast?  Could it be that one day we look in the mirror and realize the person looking back at us is no longer “young” and there is still so much to experience in life?  Could it be that we suddenly realize we have made no progress on that Bucket List we put together many years ago?

My recent birthday prompted an opportunity for an introspective journey into the past 5 decades of my life, where I have been, and where I still want to go.   It brought forth the distinct memories of where I was at 20, a nursing student, working my way through college and trying to survive financially.  At 30, I was a busy Mom of 2 small daughters, pregnant with our son, and building our first home, trying to survive motherhood as a sleep deprived often “single” parent while my husband was working long hours establishing his new career.  At 40, I was a multi-tasking Mom of 4 kids, working on my bachelor’s degree in psychology and driving car pools every night to soccer, scouts, dance classes, and church activities.   Turning 50 found me establishing my new business and finishing my post-graduate degree internship while learning to adapt to having only our youngest son in our nearly empty nest.

And then I “blinked” and here it is, time to stare the big 6-0 in the face!   How did this happen?  It seems like yesterday I was running from my two daughters’ dance recitals to my two boys’ soccer games, and then dashing home to cook dinner, help with their hours and hours of  homework, so I could start my homework, which would often last into the the middle of the night.  It feels like we pushed the “fast-forward” button on the video and here we are— with an empty nest, our kids graduated from college and establishing their careers, 3 of them are now married, we welcomed our first grand baby earlier this year, with recent news of our second one on the way and due in the Fall!  BLINK!  It is a new chapter of life unfolding for us now, and my husband and I are looking forward to the rewards of this new phase, and more time to spend together, and enjoy our favorite leisure activities.

So, what has entering this new “60” decade equated with so far for me?   Well, it has highlighted for me, how quickly life passes and instilled a new desire to savor every pink-hued sunset, full moon popping up at the horizon, beach day gathering shells, and special celebrations with loved ones.  I have a fresh passion to get going on my long Bucket List, and the goals I have been planning to pursue both professionally and personally.  Decade birthdays are really a blessing in disguise as they force us to confront the inevitable.  They remind us again that life is precious, it is fragile and it passes far too quickly.  BLINK!!

This time of year is marked by so many rich holiday traditions and celebrations! It is a festive and fun time filled with parties, gifts, twinkling lights, an abundance of special foods and treats, and little children with wide eyes standing in line to talk to Santa. December is a month filled to the brim with special music, shopping to find the perfect gift for a loved one and preparing for the holiday time we will be sharing with family and friends.

As we see the calendar year coming to an end, it is also the time that we pause and reflect back on what the past 12 months have meant to us.   For some, the year may have surpassed their expectations and been a year they will always remember fondly with a warm heart and smile. But, for others it may have been a year marked by struggles and difficulties, and thus a year they are eager to put behind them. Life is a chaotic mix for all of us, including great years filled with happy memories and good times, as well as those marked by negative events or sadness. It is part of the human experience to know both the moments that are filled with joy and happiness and those colored by sadness or struggles.

It is important to be able to be grateful for the good times in life, and the blessings we see all around us.  An “Attitude of Gratitude” is a healthy motto to attach to our daily lives.  Research has clearly shown the many health benefits from keeping gratitude front and center in our thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors.  It helps to promote wellness on many levels and increase our zest for living.

However, when times get tough and we experience challenges in life, getting to the “gratitude-thing” can be almost impossible.   But, in fact,  that is exactly the time that we need it the most!  Finding something to be grateful for in the middle of the negative event or difficult situation is very healing and helps us reframe things in a more positive light.  It also gives us hope for a better tomorrow and allows us to see that there are brighter days ahead.

So, as 2014 draws to a close and you reflect back on the past year and how it has colored your world, remember to also focus on gratitude, for the good times and the joy it has brought into your life.  And, if the year has been marked by not-such-happy-times, gratitude can help us find the bright spot and focus on the hope of better times to come.

Have a blessed holiday season as you celebrate the rich traditions with dear friends and family.

Best wishes for good health and happiness in 2015!