Do you feel “stuck” in life and not able to move on because you are carrying around old wounds and hurts or resentments from things that happened years ago? Maybe it was a mistake you made or one made by someone else that caused the suffering and hurt in your life. But, now the guilt and the agony keep you stuck in neutral and feeling trapped and unhappy. There is good news, however, and it IS possible to get beyond all of it! And, it starts with the art of “forgiveness.”
Someone once said that “Forgiveness is an act you do for yourself.” This could not be more true! In fact, once we have embraced forgiving ourselves and unloading the burden of guilt, we are free to move ahead unencumbered by the weight of negativity. We need to start with the premise that nobody is perfect, and to expect perfection out of ourselves or others is not realistic. We will mess up at times, and so will others, it is as certain as the sun coming up tomorrow! Many of us find it much easier to ask others for their forgiveness when we mess up, than forgiving ourselves when we have missed the mark.
By learning how to truly forgive ourselves, we can let go of the past and live in the moment of today. Replaying yesterday’s old hurts over and over does nothing but keep us locked in the agony of the past and it does not allow us to enjoy and savor today! Life is short and fixating on our past mistakes only keeps us from enjoying life in the here and now. So, forgiving ourselves can be the first step to helping us get “un-stuck” and moving us back into the game of life! We owe it to ourselves to be totally honest about what is really holding us back from living our best life, and we need to ask the important questions about that. If the answer is that we are struggling to forgive ourselves (or others), then it is time to throw it all into the “sea of forgiveness” and start on a new path!
It is worth the effort to practice the art of forgiveness. Today is the day and the time is now! No excuses! In the words of Mahatma Gandi, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
– Deborah Olson, M.A., LPC